Blackburn has been deemed a suitable location for carrying out an attempt to try and become the largest earthbound satellite receiver there has ever been.  This is due to its geographical position and natural bowl shape, thanks to it being located in a river valley.

In the past, detractors have joked about how Blackburn would make a really good reservoir and flooding it would do the place a favour.  But it is hoped our town’s geography could be used to try and turn it into an artificial bowl style satellite receiver, using human beings as props in this process.  It would be done by persuading thousands of our townsfolk, along with lots of other enthusiastic out of town volunteers.  They would need to dress themselves up in aluminium foil and congregate together in selected positions around town.  If atmospheric conditions proved to be correct, as astronomers calculate, then signals from outer space could be collected and hopefully new important scientific discoveries made.

On the other side of our planet, China has finished building a 500-metre aperture spherical telescope (FAST), this is Earth’s largest single aperture telescope.  It is about the size of thirty football pitches.  Part of its task is to scan outer space for signs of intelligent alien life, among other functions.  Since operations began in January 2020, 500 new pulsars have been discovered.  China’s Academy of Sciences also claims it has obtained accurate magnetic field strength in molecular cloud, a region of the interstellar medium that seems ready to form stars.

On 14 June 2022, astronomers, working with China’s FAST telescope, reported a possibility of having detected artificial (presumably alien) signals, but cautioned further studies are required to determine if this was some kind of natural radio interference as its source.  To investigate these possible alien signals a much larger satellite receiver would need to be assembled.  But a temporary device could suffice if calculations proved correct.  Therefore, using a mobile satellite and improvising with people clad in foil could possibly pull off this attempt at an extra-terrestrial breakthrough.

Opportunities for Blackburn’s pubs, clubs, catering and hospitality industry would be immense if such a gathering could be organised.  It would also bring fame and fortune to our town if this experiment proved successful.  Can you imagine how the rest of our planet would see us in Blackburn, if we could prove intelligent life had been discovered here?  The possibilities are out of this world.

Unfortunately for us earthlings, any self-respecting passing alien observing thousands of human beings dressing themselves up in aluminium foil and forming themselves into a massive bowl, would probably want to make sure their cloaking device was working correctly.