Ewood Park To Host Moon Dance
Bizarre rumours are flying round about English Football League club, Blackburn Rovers’ Ewood Park football ground being used as the venue for the world’s largest ever mass wedding.
This follows a relaxation in the UK law where buildings for entertainment can now apply for licences to host wedding ceremonies. Leaders of the World Unification Church – popularly known as the Moonies – are looking for a suitable venue in Europe. Most of their adherents speak English and Blackburn is the nearest large town close to the geographical centre of Great Britain. So this would make it ideal should such an event take place.
The previous world record for a mass wedding was 5,837 in Seoul, South Korea, in 1982. It was officiated by Reverend Sun Myung Moon himself. Ewood Park with its 30,000 plus capacity is expected to shatter this record easily.
Controversy has dogged the World Unification Church in general, and its leader Sun Myung Moon, in particular. He is thought to be the owner of a dozen Rolls Royce’s. To get round this, the Reverend Moon came up with the idea of bringing his religion to the people by taking part in popular activities like watching football and getting married. At least he should feel at home on the Rovers official car park.
The mass wedding is expected to take place some time during the close season, when the football fixture list has ended. This is between May and August. Rovers officials, not wanting to score an own goal, are remaining tight-lipped about any potential event. But information has been leaked about orders not to throw away any cans, string, or confetti from the ground. This means Ewood Park may become a little bit more untidy than usual for the remainder of the present season.
On a secret visit he made to a recent Blackburn Rovers match, the Reverend Moon was particularly impressed by the home supporters’ friendliness. He also liked the beer in Blackburn and the potato pies from the baker’s shop across from the football ground. What made up his mind though, was the Lancashire dialect spoken by the Rovers fans. It seems their use of the word ‘Aye’ – which means ‘Yes’ – also means ‘Yes’ in Korea – Reverend Moon’s home country. It is the word he would be expecting to hear from thousands of happy couples on that special day.