Author: Roving Mick

Blackburn’s Sands Of Time

Blackburn could be in line to cash in from these sand and dust storms which keep blowing over from the Sahara Desert.

A project is being considered to try and collect this sand and use it for various cottage industries.  We might even find ourselves in a ‘Coals to Newcastle’ scenario,  where we end up selling sand back to the Arabs.  From Blackburn’s Barbary Coast to theirs.

This phenomena of sand and dust blowing from North Africa seems to be becoming more of a regular thing, possibly due to effects of climate change.  It usually occurs when big dust storms in the Sahara Desert collide with southerly wind patterns.  Blackburn’s location in the middle of the island of Great Britain seems to indicate it may be in the driving seat of a vortex for receiving regular deposits of sand and dust from the world’s largest desert, it could eventually be classed as our own magic carpet.

One new cottage industry being talked about is the manufacture of hourglasses, using sand from the Sahara Desert.  This 8th century device comes in all shapes and sizes and doesn’t necessarily have to be limited to an hour or any specific time.  They can be bought in various lengths of time measurement and are particularly useful for boiling eggs.

Blackburn also has a tradition for making glass appliances and is well known for this.  Many radio and TV valves were manufactured at the Mullards factory on Philips Road.  It may have been the town’s largest employer at one time.  Thousands of people worked there.

Before we get to finished products, this process has to start somewhere.  A new company has been formed to collect sand when it lands over Blackburn from the Sahara.  It is asking people to check smooth surfaces around their home next day whenever they hear news reports of another blast of sand being blown over here from the desert.

Cars are particularly prone to being covered in sand on occasions like these.  People are being asked to carefully brush sand off their cars into plastic receptacles, such as old margarine tubs or lunch boxes.  Anything which can be airtight sealed is very welcome.  Not only will this help local industry, but will also give your car a clean and help with our borough’s recycling plan.

The sands of time have been blowing through Blackburn for many a year, probably well before the hourglass was invented.  There have been good times and bad times.  But there is always an opportunity round the corner.

Could We Soon See Blackburn’s Fleece Open Again?

Blackburn’s Fleece pub has stood derelict on Penny Street for years.  But with signs starting to appear that Morrisons may be on its way to moving across the road in the near future.  It could mean the Fleece being reinvigorated as a new public house for Blackburn town centre.

Morrison’s intended re-location to Thwaites’ former seven-acre brewery site is seen as a major part of a £250M Master Plan which has been seen as a way of rejuvenating this part of our town centre.  When these plans were submitted in 2021, the Fleece was mentioned and demolition was discussed.  But closer inspection of these plans showed demolition was actually meant for an old building at the left side of this pub.  Which means the Fleece is just as much a part of this master plan as all the rest of these developments.

This building which used to be at the side was once a restaurant.  It’s now long gone and, in my experience, thank goodness too.  On my one and only visit for a meal in here, back in the 1970’s, it left a lot to be desired.  Subjecting me to what must have been the toughest steak I’d ever encountered in my life.  As a teenager at the time, these were remembered as my salad days.  I just wish they had been on that particular evening.

Land including part of the old brewery site will be sold to Morrisons for them to build a brand-new replacement superstore.  It will be just over half the size of their current premises.  This master plan will also include building 500 new homes and five commercial buildings on their present site, after it has been demolished.  Building work on the old brewery site is hopefully anticipated to be underway in the summer of this year.

It would be great to see another of Blackburn’s old pubs coming back from the dead, like we’re seeing with the newly opened Ribblesdale Tap.  This would be very welcome to have a pub back in operation around the Penny Street side of our town centre, especially with this area’s pub and brewery connections.  Hopefully with these developments, including the Fleece, talking will stop and building will start.

What could be better for a superstore in the town centre than a having a new pub to serve its customers?  It would also be a handy facility for travellers at our bus station across the road and nearby railway station to be able to enjoy a pint before, after and in between their journeys.

Blackburn Bull Running Revival

A long forgotten Blackburn tradition could be revived as a way of boosting tourism to the town.

It seems Blackburn was known for being one of a few British places where running of the bulls took place.  Many people will have heard of these kind of events taking place in Spain – Pamplona being its most famous festival – but bull running is far more widespread than just Spain.  It also takes place in Portugal, Mexico and France.

Surprisingly, there used to be similar events in Britain.  A long standing festival took place in Stamford, Lincolnshire for over 600 years up to 1837.  It started here when a bull escaped and the local landowner pursued it on horseback, along with his pack of dogs.  He killed it and really enjoyed himself, no doubt even more so after feasting on his dismembered quarry.  Stamford’s bull run was eventually suppressed due to a combination of rampant drunkenness on run days and campaigning by the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals – what would later become the RSPCA.

Many Blackburn folk will remember our town’s cattle market on Harrison Street.  Bulls were known to escape from here, but they didn’t usually get so far before a marksman’s bullet sent them to the abattoir and a meat hook in the butcher’s.  Our previous livestock market was based on Blakey Moor and its removal led to Blackburn College being built.

Before then, Blackburn’s cattle market was on Church Street.  It is from here tales of bulls escaping and terrorising local people originate.  Sometimes setting bulls on unruly mobs was used as a way of putting down riots, or when mass drunkenness led to disorder.  Perhaps this is what inspired bull runs in Blackburn.  It certainly inspired pub names on this thoroughfare.  No less than four pubs with Bull in their names used to be on this street.

Having a bull run in Blackburn would need a few problems solving.  Barbecuing bulls after killing them in the street may not be as acceptable today as it used to be in times gone by.  There are not only animal welfare issues to consider, but also health and safety aspects relating to humans too.  The spectacle of people tossed in the air by bulls then being gored by them, may face some opposition.

To get round this, one suggestion has been put forward with pantomime bulls replacing the real thing.  They would be assisted by a troupe of Morris Dancers as they pursued volunteer runners down a marked out street route in the town centre of Blackburn.  A modern day Tossers v Runners, like the dystopian science fiction films ‘Logan’s Run’ or ‘Rollerbull’.  This could certainly bring the crowds out to view or partake in such an enthralling spectacle.

The author of this load of bull had a great-grandfather who was a butcher in Blackburn.  He was crushed to death in a paddock while trying to move a bull.

Blackburn’s Mothballed Monolith

Due to financial cutbacks in local government and relocation of staff, Blackburn with Darwen Council now finds itself with a 14 storey office block surplus to requirements.

It begs the question of what should be done with our town centre tower block.  This has led to various debates including demolition, turning it into residential accommodation, perhaps a hotel, or simply finding some other use for our former town hall.

Perhaps a most obvious use for this building would be to try and get an influx of office workers using it for what it was originally built for.  But Blackburn, like most other towns and cities everywhere, seems to be losing jobs in this field.  New Artificial Intelligence technology and a growing use of home working will certainly not help this situation.

One industry whose need for accommodation always seems to be boundless is an ever growing demand for more prisons.  A unique suggestion has been put forward regarding turning Blackburn’s tower block into a kind of civil prison rehabilitation centre.  This would entail civil prisoners, who are not actually criminals, being housed in this building and rehabilitated by being given white collar tasks to do in an office environment, which already exists with this building.

Instead of sewing mailbags, they could be given the task of filling them with junk mail.  They could also be given recycling duties, such as salvaging paper clips and plastic pockets for further office usage.  Many people who have worked in offices will know how much waste of stationary takes place.  It would be nice to also be able to provide not only this, but an office equipment recycling service, including staff who have had problems with their lives.

These inmates of our tower block would also be kitted out in a new style uniform, rather than standard prison apparel.  Theirs would be collars and ties, shirts, blouses and suits.  This is because governors of this institution do not expect anyone housed in Blackburn’s tower block to have any intention of trying to abscond from such a healthy and welcoming environment.  In fact the only time you would ever catch sight of these new inmates would be during fire and bomb drills.

Blackburn’s former town hall tower block has over the years become one of our most recognisable buildings.  Sadly it is now starting to be given derogatory names, such as the ‘Big Empty’ and ‘Mothballed Monolith’.  But compared to how it looked some years ago, before being reclad in today’s design, it still impresses many visitors to our town.  Wouldn’t it be great if Blackburn’s ‘Big Empty’ could become full again.

Venky’s Shellstar Satellite Plan

Blackburn Rovers’ Indian owners may be on the verge of launching their own satellite into space.  This follows news of their home country successfully landing a spacecraft on the moon in August.

What may have captured Venky’s imagination though was what was inside this spaceship.  Upon landing on the moon’s surface, it released a vehicle called a Lunar Rover.  Unlike India’s previous attempt in 2019, when both their spaceship and lunar rover were destroyed, this landing and subsequent Rover release was a resounding success.

Perhaps Venky’s were moonstruck following this celestial event.  After their own Rovers failure and possible financial murmurings, many people in India cynically said Blackburn Rovers were lost in space and Venky’s final frontier.  But after India’s triumph in space, maybe Venky’s saw something written in the stars after all.

With India’s government wishing to become more involved in today’s space race, this could offer lots of opportunities to businesses across the sub-continent.  Venky’s aren’t the kind of people to miss chances like this.  They are already one of India’s largest multinational corporations and leaders in their field of technology, albeit from an opposite perspective.  They wish to keep their chickens firmly on Terra Ferma and not send them flying off into space.

But being involved in India’s space programme could turn out to be meteoric for them and would certainly put a feather in their cap, not just one of their own.  It could even help their industry.  After all, the Apollo programme produced all sorts of state of the art inventions which we use today.  These include non-stick frying pans and microwave ovens.  These inventions certainly boosted the fast food industry.

Putting a satellite in space could also produce dividends for Venky’s interest in their non-egg shaped interests.  Their ‘Shellstar’ satellite could spy on Rovers’ rivals during their training sessions.  Also, chipping their football club’s players could help keep them out of trouble, especially if they knew a satellite was following their every move.  Rovers know all about surveillance regarding footballers.  Many will remember our former player Gary Croft, who had to wear one of these tag monitors following driving misdemeanours.

Venky’s told India’s government they had no intention of sending a satellite up into space for football reasons.  This is the least of their priorities.  They want to use it for what they see as far more important scientific projects – such as finding a cure for Avian Influenza (Bird Flu).  Venky’s also found out the first living vertebrate to be born in space was a quail and they want to follow this up with chickens.

Potato Peeling Show Suggested In Blackburn

Blackburn people were recently invited to take part in a house renovation TV programme hosted by a Loose Woman called Stacey.

This programme’s production team contacted people in various locations around the UK.  But it seemed they were out of luck in Blackburn.  They were met with derision and negativity about today’s current crop of similar TV programmes.

Our town’s respondents also complained that there seemed to be nothing original being made these days.  There was a preponderance of cooking, cleaning and DIY programmes which had been going on since those early days of Fanny Craddock.  The message from Blackburn was: Let’s have something different!

One of the sarcastic comments from here asked when were they making the Ironing Show, or the Potato Peeling Programme?

This may have struck a chord with someone in the production company.  They might have thought it sounded like a pretty good idea.  Something brand new!

All sorts of ideas started being thrown around in a lively brainstorming session in a local pub near their TV studio.  Ironically, as regards potato peeling, this pub is fittingly named the King Edward and known for being a very down to earth grassroots kind of boozer.

There was a heated debate over what amounts of skill there were in using a potato peeler.   Some participants compared it to being like using a short snooker cue.  After all, everything was in the elbow and wrist action.  There is a lot more inclusivity in potato peeling these days though.  Left-handed and ambidextrous spud peelers are now far more widespread.

It is believed these left-handed peelers originated in a former Soviet factory.  A place known for making bad mistakes, but always having a knack of getting away with it.  They once manufactured sunglasses you couldn’t see through, only to win a contract supplying Soviet blind citizens.  It sounds like something similar happened with left-handed people being able to use their potato peelers, after this factory got their lathe settings mixed up again.

Now the question is, how do you put together a programme about potato peeling?  Producers state this show is not aimed at couch potatoes.  It could lead to lots of twists and turns.  Though critics say it is scraping the barrel, the only turns they can see happening are funny ones.

At least there seems to be a lot more scope with a programme about peeling potatoes than making one about ironing.  It wouldn’t be long before this one folded.

Rovers Season Ticket Timeshare

Blackburn Rovers’ marketing team are considering all sorts of novel ideas to help boost season ticket sales.  One of these is to bring out a new kind of way of watching the blue and whites.  It would be based on fans buying a timeshare season ticket.

This would entail supporters joining an exclusive seat buying club at Ewood Park, starting at one game a season, for years to come.  This seat could then be passed on to the subscriber’s children, future descendants or friends, for time immemorial.  After a one-off payment of an undisclosed amount, an annual maintenance charge would be levied before each season to help look after the holder’s seat.

Just think, you could pick a home match at a certain time of the year and know you have a guaranteed seat – for the rest of your life – and even longer!  You could also be awarded a bonus match by upgrading your membership (for an additional fee).

Rovers intend to recruit staff with experience of timeshare marketing, preferably having worked in places like Spain, Portugal or the Canary Islands, where this practice has been established for many years.  Sales personnel, known as Waggo-Waggo Men, would be sent out around the local area with raffle tickets and invitations to lively presentations, featuring beer and wine tasting events, held in Blues Bar at Ewood Park.  Their presence should be noticed when you hear their shout of:  ‘You’ve won! You’ve won! You’ve won!’

Over in India, Venky’s probably see Rovers as their own dodgy timeshare.  There are similarities to what may have befallen gullible Brits on the Spanish Costas.  They were taken in by snake oil salesmen, paying what they thought was a decent price at the time.  Then they have had to pour endless maintenance fees down a bottomless pit for years to come.  But like most timeshare victims, they are loath to admit they were taken in and want to get rid of their investment without losing face.  But they can’t even give it away now and will never get their money back.

At least this seat buying club claims it is prepared to give Rovers fans the benefit of the doubt, should they have a change of heart after purchasing a timeshare season ticket.  If you want to chat about it, call in at any time in either their office in Pune, or their other in the Cayman Islands.

Blackburn Posty Beer Garden

And it came to pass that Blackburn’s Wetherspoon’s pub, The Postal Order, has opened up a brand new beer garden.

This facility is next to the pub across from where Dandy Walk meets Darwen Street.  It is situated on consecrated land, owned by the Church of England through Blackburn Cathedral.  So not only real ale but spirits are also likely to be in good measure.

For many years people have said what they were missing at the Posty was a proper beer garden.  Those existing tables and seats in front of this pub just don’t really give you a sort of ambience and relaxation in a similar way to what a beer garden can provide.  In fact sitting on these front seats can often lead to racing pulses, watching police cars, ambulances and taxis speeding down Darwen Street.

This would have been just what the doctor ordered when lockdown started coming to an end a couple of years ago.  Blackburn’s drinkers could have enjoyed a pint sitting outside then, rather than having to do without during this terrible time when the Posty wasn’t able to allow punters inside.

But better late than never and there is a now a brand new facility where you can have a sit down and be entertained by an angelic sound of bells ringing and chiming, also a heavenly kind of karaoke, with people singing to the accompaniment of an organ every Sunday.

Strangely enough, this new beer garden site may be quite near if not actually on part of the site of where Blackburn’s old County pub used to be situated.  This was a Lion house, if my fading memory serves me right.  It only ever received one visit from me during my teenage salad days.  Unlike the early Christians, I was drunk but never stoned.  In 1979 the County’s walls went the same way as those of Jericho.

When the County went from dust to dust, it was a different story across Dandy Walk.  Our Postal Order was still serving its purpose from where this pub’s name originated.  After many years as Blackburn’s main post office, it didn’t become a Wetherspoon’s hostelry until 1996.

Now we have a situation where these two buildings, Blackburn Cathedral and the Postal Order, have two different objectives.  One wishes to look after your virtues, the other your vices.  With a brand new beer garden, hopefully this marriage between the Cathedral and Posty will be one made in heaven.  Definitely a case of love thy neighbour.

Blackburn Pride 2023

Blackburn Pride 2023 was bigger and better this time than when it made its debut last year.

Our town centre streets were awash with all the colours of the rainbow as this year’s Pride procession made its way from its starting point on Cathedral Square.

Councillor Jim Shorrock, Chair of Blackburn Pride Committee, looked a bit worried before this event was due to start.  His main concern was how the weather would fair.  It did feel like rain was in the air, but Jim had no need to worry.  It didn’t rain on his parade.

Due to possible inclement weather, Jim had also worried about this affecting the festival’s attendance.  Once again, he didn’t have to worry.  Last year’s turnout exceeded expectations, this year’s event was even larger.

My buddies were joined having their breakfast in the Postal Order.  We left earlier than on a usual Saturday to get a seat outside the Drummer’s Arms, where they opened earlier than usual at 11.00am.  This was a good vantage point to not only watch the Pride procession, but to also listen to music from a temporary stage erected nearby.

On Monday dinnertime I went for a pint in the Rock Box and there was the man himself, a relieved Councillor Jim, having a brew.  As expected, he was very pleased with how everything went with Saturday’s festival.  When asked what the most challenging aspect was of organising it, Jim replied pulling in advertising and sponsorship to pay for this year’s Pride.  But after two successful events, sponsors and advertisers were now approaching the Pride Committee about next year’s festival.

What was quite amusing was seeing some of the frozen faces and frowns from people who obviously didn’t approve or agree with what this festival was all about.  But that was lost on the vast majority of people who turned up that day.  Their numbers were made up of LGBTQ and straight people, of all ages including elderly and children.

Their main talking point though was how noticeable Blackburn with Darwen’s new Mayor was by his absence.  Some unfairly called him a bigot.  Others said he’d lost his bottle after seeing the abuse last year’s first citizen, Solly Khonat, received when he opened Blackburn’s inaugural Pride.  But most people who attended this year’s event didn’t give a damn where the Mayor was, or even whether our borough really needs one.  They said Blackburn needs it’s Pride more than it needs a Mayor.

Flying Another Flag in Cyprus Is All Greek To Me

While enjoying a recent holiday in Cyprus, one thing which seems to still be around is the sight of the flag of Greece fluttering on buildings here and there.

This lovely island has been divided since 1974 into two separate entities.  Two thirds of this island, mainly in its south, comprises of the Republic of Cyprus, an EU member, populated by Greek Cypriots.  Whereas the northern third of this island is made up of the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus (TRNC).  A territory populated by Turkish Cypriots, but not recognised as a sovereign country anywhere, except by Turkey itself.

As we approach 50 years since Cyprus was partitioned, attitudes amongst some people on both sides seem as entrenched now as they were when Turkey invaded in 1974.  One of the main factors behind this division was many members of the Greek Cypriot population wanting union with Greece.  This situation was unacceptable to its Turkish Cypriot diaspora.  They wanted Partition rather than being part of Greece and it looks like they got what they wanted – but at a price!

That price is almost total isolation from the rest of the world, apart from Turkey.  All exports and imports to TRNC have to go through their Turkish benefactor across the Mediterranean Sea.  Calling Turkey a benefactor, apart from saving Turkish Cypriots from being massacred, is starting to wear a bit thin now as we approach 50 years since their armed intervention.

Flag flying Greek Cypriots also seem to be missing a trick here.  Turkey has encouraged mainland settlers to cross the Med to help boost TRNC’s population to try and outnumber their southern neighbours.  But this may be starting to backfire.  Turkish Cypriots tend to be secular and hold liberal views.  Whereas many of these settlers are farmers who tend to hold right-wing points of view, along with embracing a traditional religious way of life.

This may lead to a situation where Turkish Cypriots see themselves as having more in common with their southern rather than northern neighbours.  Many Cypriots lived together in peace and harmony across the island up to 1974.  There are still some places where it happens to this day.  Pyla is an example of this.  Situated inside the United Nations buffer zone separating both Cypriot territories and near Britain’s Sovereign Base Area of Dhekelia (my birthplace), Pyla has had a long tradition of cross community friendship and co-operation between its mixed Greek and Turkish Cypriot population.  It also hosts a campus of the University of Central Lancashire.

Pyla shows there is still hope for unity amongst both sets of Cypriots.  So Greek Cypriots continuing to wave the flag of a foreign country, which has no interest in them, doesn’t seem a very appropriate or helpful way of bringing these two communities together.  It’s a bit like Austrians waving the German flag.  This was done in their recent past, creating much regret.  Sadly, Germany’s most well-known leader was an Austrian.